What is the best advice you have ever been given?

This time last year, on my birthday, I posted on Facebook asking people for advise or wisdom. I was actually pretty surprised at how many people got back to me. Below is a list of the responses. I was tempted to pick out my favourites, or cut ones that I didn’t necessarily agree with (or in some cases even understand), but I think one of the fun things about the list is seeing the variety of responses that people give. I guess if you responded last year you might even be able to find yours 🙂

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass away anyway. Earl Nightingale.”

“Don’t leave till tomorrow what you can do today”

“don’t just think about changing, change your thinking”

“If you can learn to accept that the life is full of impermanence, imperfection, and suffering – that there are things that will affect you that are outside of your control – then you will be able to face anything and come out stronger. Oh and the good ole classic that the only difference between success and failure is using the word ‘try’ as an excuse for not completing something. There is no such thing as trying- you either do something or you don’t. If you do – great! If you don’t, find another way. Failure is quitting not when something doesn’t work the first time”

“My advice is actually 2 questions I was asked a few years ago: What is the purpose of your life? How will you measure your life? (emphasis on your!)

So I guess the advice you could get from that (ironically) is to follow that cliche of ‘live life to the full’; it’s known that greatest regrets are from things not done, but regrets from things done are probably just as valuable in my mind.”

“Listen, read and amass all the knowledge you can. But dont do this for answers do it for questions. Dont try to figure life out, it cant be done – not with love, not with faith, not with intellect.”

“Go for it/get involved”

“Righteousness defends those that defend it. Stand on principle or you will not stand at all.”

“You do you”

“I think often it’s very easy to look at things in the future and worry about them and over-speculate. Whereas in reality it’s not worth wondering about the potential consequences of things that only may happen because when the time comes living in and reacting to the present feels a lot easier than anticipating the future. I’m not sure if that bears any credence to your life but I know it does to mine.”

“Motivational messages tend to encourage us to change how we work and think in order to improve, but sometimes the best motivation comes from appreciating what you have already achieved. Positive motivation drives us not only to take on the challenge but to do it with all the confidence and belief we have discovered in ourselves.

So my piece of advice is, remind yourself of who you are and what you have achieved already. Take comfort in knowing you are tackling your current challenge because you were successful in all the rest.”

“Surround myself with energy givers and avoid energy drainers”

“Love God; love people”

“Don’t stop believing!”

“Don’t follow your dreams, chase them.”

“Always be a little kinder than necessary”

“Up here for thinking, down there for dancing.”

“say yes more”

“YOLO”

“Just be yourself”

“It is possible to forgive someone whilst still having negative emotions about an an event. Forgiveness is sometimes more about not letting those negative emotions be an excuse to act towards or talk about a person in an unkind manner.”

“There’s so much wonder in the world. Don’t let no one tell you otherwise.”

“There are enough people who will do jobs they don’t really want such that you can find a way to make a living doing what you love”

“Most mints have been licked first”

“eat sleep rave repeat”

“The difficulty with planting seeds is that you don’t always gety to see what grows, but I guess that’s what makes it exciting”

“I try to live by…
– be nice first
– always separate your bananas so they ripen slower
– don’t worry, be yoncé.”

“If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail!”

“1.Don’t be lasagne
2. 11th Doctor’s good thing and bad things speech (remember the happy times is what I get from it)
3. 11th Doctor’s regeneration speech (We all change but we’re still us)
4. A friend said this to me, about something I will do this year, ‘You’ve said it now, you’ve got to make it happen.’ It’s surprisingly inspiring/important to me. I can’t exactly explain it, but it’s probably something about being true to your word and reap your rewards. I suppose I’ll figure out this year.”

“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”

“A wise man once told me that if a man is truly rich in life, he can count his true friends on the fingers of one hand.”

“’If you want something in your life you’ve never had, you’ll have to do something you’ve never done’ – JD Houstan”

“Treat the acidity of food in the same way you would seasoning. It might need a touch of lemon or cider vinegar. Especially with salads.”

“The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it’s actually possible”

“Do or do not there is no try”- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us”- Gandalf, Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
“Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary”- John Keating, Dead Poets Society (1989)
“Get busy living, or get busy dying”- Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
and arguably the most important line of cinema ever:
“I am Groot”- Groot, the Guardians of the Galaxy(2014)

“Advice, regarding those social occasions when you never know whether or when you’ll get food – always eat a sarnie before you go”

“Winners never quit, and quitters never win!”

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

“Make your own wisdom”

“Things are never as bad, or as good, as they seem at the time. In hindsight what seemed like a disaster may turn out to be a lucky twist of fate.”

“The best things in life aren’t things”

“You don’t have to be faster than the bear… just the slowest person”

“Remember to stay curious, question everything, and look at things from other points of view.”

“http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Also, do all that is within your heart for God is with you. Even if you hit rock bottom all that’s there is the assurance that He is the rock at the bottom.”

“In time it’s all better, cos time heals whatever”

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes like meaningful.”

“Dignity first.”

“Possessions aren’t for observation; they’re to be used to bring enjoyment and serve a purpose. So wear and tear just shows how much you like it.”

“Dream big and dare to fail.”

“When you’re more interested in gaining recognitions for your achievements in something than for doing the thing itself, it’s time to reconsider.”

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely’- Roald Dahl.
– Potatoes taste better if you keep them out of the fridge.”

“The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.”

“Wishing, knowing and feeling are inextricably intertwined. But there is perhaps a way of moving through the world other than following the thread of the real.”

“’Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.’ Prov 4: 23”

“never give up cause every failure leads to success”

“you’re an alright person, and all things pass”

“Enjoy each and every day, try to see and appreciate all the little things that make each day unique and if you are having a boring, uneventful day, do something to change it”

“Keep a calm sooch”

“Don’t eat yellow snow”

“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”

“There is no one path to anything. Just do whatever you find interesting in the moment and you’ll end up where you’re meant to be.”

“First things first”

“Do amazing challenging things which involve rejection the more we go through the more we grow the more confident we become, for example, if you love them let them know, or apply for those ridiculous dream job placements, my current thing is walking up to complete strangers and complementing them”

“A hidden talent is useless”

“watch 12 Angry Men”

“Get enough sleep in your life… it makes a huge difference!”

“If there is something you’ve contemplated doing for a long time, just do it. You regret the chances you didn’t take more than those you took, but that didn’t pay off. At least you will have tried.”

“And, it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”

“i before e except after c”

“stop messing around and ask her to marry you”

“A little bit of enthusiasm can change your entire atmosphere; waiters handle your money and your food, so be nice to them; if a street performer makes you stop, you owe him money; be married a couple of years before you have kids; even if you think you’re sure, wait for them to tell you they’re pregnant; it’s never too late for an apology; be cool to younger kids – reputations are built over a lifetime and always assume you met someone on their worst day”

“Life is like a box of chocolates u never know what u will get.”

“Never look back on what could have been and focus on today”

“Treat others as you would expect to be treated yourself.”

“Best two investments ever: A George Foreman’s Grill and a bicycle”

“If you don’t like your situation, change it! If you can’t change it, change your attitude to it!”

“As you travel through life, let this be our goal; keep your eye on the doughnut and not on the hole”

“Always look behind before you leave – not in a deep, metaphorical sense – just to check you’ve not forgotten anything”

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is when good men do nothing.”

“Really its only ever about the people”

“You need the sun and the rain to make the colours appear”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khOaAHK7efc

“always buy tiolet roll, before you need toilet roll”

So, where have you been?

Okay, I admit it, it’s been a while. It is not really that my zeal for questions has diminished, rather that my time has been a little pushed over the last year and this blog hasn’t really taken priority. I imagine there will be times when this happens again, but for now I anticipate another short burst of activity.

This is the question I felt like I faced when I (eventually) managed to log back into WordPress having gone through quite a few incorrect password requests. It’s a pretty good question, so if you’re interested, this is how I’ve spent the last year and a bit.

I finished as President of Grey College JCR in August 2015. It feels like quite a long time ago now, but I am still thankful for the amazing people I met and worked with during that year. Shortly afterwards I moved to a little town outside of Durham called Ushaw Moor and started an internship year with my Church, Emmanuel. The last year has been nothing short of spectacular and I would do it a disservice to try to describe everything that happened over the year, but a brief overview looks like this:

I was on a team of 5 other interns. We spent time together, we chatted through theology and we prayed together. These people quickly became some of my closest friends and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know them. Together as a team we organised some of the church student activities, attended theological training, went to Dublin to help with an outreach week and challenged each other in our walks with God. Also included in how I spent my year was a weekly volunteer day in a school for kids who haven’t got on well with previous schools, a mission trip to South Africa and helping to direct a community theater version of Joseph, which I ended up starring in (and really enjoying).

In the coming year I am working with Emmanuel Church as a student pastor/ student worker, as well as some other smaller projects I have up my sleeve.

What do you even do?

So, I studied at Durham University, which has this strange but actually very, very good college system. I spent three years in Grey College and enjoyed myself so much that I ran to be the President of the Junior Common Room for a year after graduating. I’m not sure I knew exactly what I was getting myself in for and the role certainly has its ups and downs and a its fair share of surprises.

One such surprise is the amount I get asked one particular question, especially by the Junior Common Room. Seldom does a day go by when I’m not asked at least once (some days it gets well into double figures) ‘What do you actually do?’

So to clear up any confusion, I made a video diary:

Did this take hours to edit?
Yes, yes it did.

You’re religious, right?

You’re religious, right?

I think for a second. Unfortunately my mouth opens before the thought even gets out of the blocks.

‘No…well yes but… no…how long have you got?’

Excluding trivial questions, I think this question (or paraphrases of it) is one that I have been asked more than any other over the course of my life. Whether it be in the context of an academic conversation on ‘ritual’, a book recommendation, general interest, or more topically simply because it is Easter. Over the years I have given such a range of answers, often starting how I started this blog, so I thought it would be useful to nail it down. I find it a lot harder for my mouth to outpace my mind when I take my mouth out the race before it even starts. Perhaps there’s a lesson there?

Though there are many meanings of the term religious I am going to reduce it down to two for simplicity. The first relates to engaging in religious activity, which in a westernised Christian context (the frame which I am most often asked) usually involves going to Church for special ceremonies, or if you’re especially keen going every Sunday and maybe changing your religious views on Facebook. I have no issue with people who do these things at all, I do them, but I often have issues with religion. Religion can quickly become about fulfilling ritual, doing stuff because you feel like you have to and can often be isolating for those not in the club. Throughout history religion has also been used as an express elevator to fast-track socio-political ladders, it has been the reason stated to start (as well as the justification throughout) countless wars and usually is less about the God it claims to represent and more about humans doing stuff. This stuff isn’t always necessarily bad, but when the focus is on human activity it opens itself up to everything from moral pride to corruption. This can often mean religion paints a picture of a needy God who is constantly looking to be appeased (often by religious activity) for one reason or another, and can be a bit of a bully if he doesn’t get his way. I don’t claim to know this God and don’t particularly want to be associated with him. In fact I feel so strongly about it that I often spit out a ‘no’ before even considering the context of the question.

However I have began to realise that this is not always what people mean when they ask if I’m religious. A big give-away of this is when I see their surprised face as I try to catch my breath having tried to say all of the above in about 12 seconds. ‘OK John, slow down man (none of my friends actually say ‘man’, but I think it makes them sound cool, so I added it in) I just wanted to know if you believed in God, y’know had a faith and that’. This brings me to my second definition of religious and the reason why my answer isn’t simply a flat out no.

I know God, at least to some degree, I have a faith (a good description of this is found in point two of this article: www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-18/dickson-tips-for-atheists/5397892 ) and what I know about Him paints a very different God to the one religion often shows. Though I am by know means an expert, the God of the Bible and the God I put my faith in doesn’t seem so keen on religious activity. He seems to be more about the motivations of individuals, caring for the poor, the downcast, the lonely, and just about anyone else. He loves regardless and doesn’t need people to do anything to supplicate an inferiority complex, but wants people to know His incredible love, for their sake.

Seeing as I am writing this during the Easter Weekend, I have been thinking a bit about the crucifixion of Jesus. At this pivotal moment, God (through Jesus) shows us something important about His nature. You see the cross doesn’t look like humans are in the hands of an angry God, rather God is in the hands of angry humans. It is God reaching out to humanity, giving Himself to us. This God is the antithesis of the God of religion, where humans must do stuff in an attempt to reach God, rather it is God who is reaching us. It is this God that I trust.

So, yeah, I think a lot of people would describe me as religious (as well as a whole bunch of other things, some less polite) but I hope I have cleared up which type of ‘religious’ I am. It is my view that one brings restriction, the other freedom; one brings striving, the other peace.

For a number of people this distinction is meaningless, and the whole concept of faith is silly, but I’m not really addressing this here so I’m sorry if this has wasted your time. Maybe that’s a question for another day.

All of this being said, I would like to finish with a disclaimer. I’m not perfect, my motivations aren’t perfect and I don’t always do a great job of representing the God I love. All too often I do stuff religiously, foolishly thinking it will make God love me more. I’m on a journey and I definitely don’t know everything, but I will keep exploring, and I will definitely keep asking questions.

I hope you have a cracking Easter.

Get it?

Why blog about questions?

Why blog?
I made a promise to myself at the beginning of 2014 that I would make a blog. Like all good New Year’s resolutions, here I am mid-April having not done much about it. That being said, even the longest journey starts with a first step.

Why questions?
I love questions. Really? Yes, really. In a rather bizarre set of circumstances, the type you usually hear about in conversations starting ‘I had the weirdest dream last night…’, my 11 year old self ended up in a room with an ex-GB shot-putter, who for some reason was telling me to get the most out of school.  His key piece of advise, as I am sure you have already guessed from a man who throws big stones for a living, was to ask questions (I didn’t see it coming either). Having already been moved to the back of classrooms for asking too many questions (at least that was what I thought) I needed little encouragement, but at least now I had the backing of a 6 foot 5 balding colossus to remind me.
12 years later, my curiosity has led me down many a road, or perhaps a maze, of discovery.
Questions have battled hard with their age-old nemesis: answers. Both sides have chalked up their fair share of victories, but I am much less interested in answers, or in fact finding the question to be definitively unanswerable, I enjoy the battle.

It’s hard to say, but the way I imagine this blog will go is that I will initially post my thoughts on questions I get asked a lot, as that might be interesting for other people and then as time goes on it will fall slowly down the rabbit hole of questions that I’ve been thinking about. Questions ranging from ‘I wonder what skill takes the most practice time to be the world’s best at?’ and ‘when 3D printing becomes widely available, what (if any) will be the first business to go out of business’ to ‘is the ability to create an online identity degrading or empowering an individuals sense of self’ and ‘if I had to eat 5kg of one food, in a short sitting, what would it be?*’

Hey, who knows, maybe people could submit questions and answers and we could all learn together.

I will leave you with a fun web-comic on questions, it’s worth a read:
http://kiriakakis.net/comics/mused/a-day-at-the-park

I hope you have a nice day, don’t you?

*thanks to Nick Klein for that gem.